First Days Of School

Well, it finally happened:  the day I was both dreading and anticipating for the past few years.  I remember noting to my sister in February, 2013 that we would both be signing our children up for full-day kindergarten in one year's time, and marvelling at that monumental shift.  I watched them walk out the front door on their first day of preschool last September, thinking that in one short year's time, they would be on their way to kindergarten and the beginning of a scholastic career, that - for better or for worse - would take us through the next 13+ years.  That felt big.  Really, really big.

In retrospect, it felt a lot bigger then, than it does now.  Perhaps it's because I when I look at my articulate, funny, active and - gasp - increasingly reasonable almost-four-year-olds, I can see that they are ready for this newest challenge.  I'm not sending my wee two year olds out into The World.  They've grown up so much, even in the past month.  Perhaps it's because I was proactive in getting them ready.  From the social interaction they practised (and struggled with, in cases) at preschool and every other opportunity I could contrive; to identifying and addressing Colin's sensory needs; to meeting teachers beforehand and getting used to our new routines (and lunchboxes!) well in advance, I did it all with an eye to Thursday, September 4th.  After that moment, it would be in their hands.  I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they'll be fine.  In time, in their own time, they'll find their way.   And, upon reflection, every milestone has unfolded like that.  You set the stage, you encourage, and then you step back and watch with a bittersweet mixture of amazement and conviction.  You can do this.

And so, when Thursday morning arrived, and they got up, got dressed, ate a big breakfast and walked out the front door with their backpacks on, it felt a little anticlimactic.  Edward dropped them off at their school door, and off they went - only one with a few tears.  An hour  later, the resource teacher left a message on our phone telling me they were doing beautifully.  They came home excited, and the next day they didn't even notice Edward leave.  The biggest tears have been over the exceptionally sad fact that we don't live far enough away to quality for the school bus.

I know there will be challenges ahead - already, we've had a boy who pushed on the playground, and another who chased them around at lunch.  And we'll see how they feel about it all on Monday morning.  But this is what it's about - learning about other people.  These experiences, good and bad, will bring our children's own values and beliefs into sharper focus.  This is something that Edward and I cannot teach them.  It isn't always an easy lesson, but it is an essential one.

First day of school.  Someone accidentally hit someone else with their overstuffed backpack.  And that someone else was not amused, although someone was trying to make amends.

Still not amused.  Still trying to make amends.  Still no good picture of the first day of the rest of their (scholastic) lives.

Such is life:  the drama you think will ensue and have prepared for, is usurped by the drama you never anticipated...