Sharing Rooms

For our first few months with Malcolm, he snoozed in his little nook in our bedroom.  Well, to be honest, he spent most of his nights cuddled beside me, and his naps in Edward's arms.  However, he gradually spent more time in his bassinet - at least enough time for us to discover that he was rapidly outgrowing it.  Also, he started waking up every time I would sneak into the bedroom to get ready for bed.  He wasn't hungry, he was just a really light sleeper.  Yeah.  In our crazy loud and busy house.  Not the best combination.  So, I decided that it was time he got used to his more permanent digs.

That went well, and has continued to go reasonably well.  That being said, there are challenges inherent in room sharing, particularly when you have different ages and genders in the mix.  We do have three available bedrooms upstairs, but opted to continue using one of them as a playroom until Malcolm is a little older and they'll play more in their rooms.  Right now, their bedrooms are basically for sleeping. 

Colin and Malcolm

Initially, Evelyn was my choice to share with Malcolm.  I figured she'd be the most amenable to late night howling, and given her nurturing personality, she might actually enjoy her little brother's company.  However, at the last minute, I reconsidered and picked Colin.  Firstly, Colin is the deepest sleeper.  Secondly, certain combinations of Ducklings lead to loud and rambunctious results.  Specifically:  Keith + Colin = lots and lots of fun.  Not just "fun".  But, FUN!!!!!  Put them in the bath together, and expect a tsunami.  Put them beside each other at the table, and expect food to fly.  Put them alone in the same room, and expect.....  well, I'd rather not find out.  So, Colin got relocated.

I took the opportunity of the Ducklings being in New Brunswick for three weeks in August to rearrange the rooms.  I was a little sad moving Colin's bed out of the configuration he had shared with his siblings since birth.  I started preparing him for the change while at the cottage.  I explained that he was going to be sleeping alone for few months and then with Malcolm.  In the middle of my rather verbose pep talk, he interrupted with: "Okay, Mummy.  I get my own room!!  I SO excited!!"  and that was that.  Done.

It was all quite bucolic for Colin until Malcolm moved in.  Yes, Colin is a deep sleeper.  But nobody can sleep through Malcolm.  The situation improved as Malcolm's sleep improved; however for a long time, Colin was perpetually sleep deprived.  Evelyn can soldier through without a ton of sleep, and Keith is pretty amiable regardless.  But Colin NEEDS day and night sleep to function.  So for a long time, Colin was on (read: way over) the edge of miserable.   It doesn't help that Malcolm still has to be resettled partway through his afternoon nap, waking Colin up.  When Colin looks darkly at Malcolm and announces "I don't like Malcolm.  His screaming hurts my ears", he very much has our sympathy.  

We have tried to come up with different solutions, including the possibility of Colin napping in our bed (which he is afraid of), or getting another play pen for Colin to put in our room.  The last play pen I tried to buy on-line fell through, but I'll probably try again.  Evelyn is using the one we borrowed from my parents to nap in the basement.  Apart from the occasional "scary noise", that's working well.  She is extremely adverse to Quiet Time, much preferring Very Loud Time, and thus we need as much geographical distance between her and her siblings as possible for anyone else to get any sleep.

In any case, in the past week or so, the table have turned and now it's Colin waking Malcolm up from his nap.  Colin insists he isn't tired as he practically falls asleep in his lunch,  but will read or play with his toys as soon as he has a chance to be alone (ie. in his bed).  I guess he needs the alone time more than he needs sleep - no matter how much I try to convince him otherwise. 

As frustrating as it is for all of us, I do think these issues come with the territory when you have children with differing and changing sleep habits sharing the same room.  At the moment, we're going to push through, because it won't be long until Colin is at school full days (gulp) and Malcolm will be sleeping through the night.  Right?

Malcolm's side

Colin's side.  It's quite a small room*

Evelyn and Keith

I wasn't sure about mixing genders in a shared room.  I know this will be temporary, because I am sure that I don't want them together for more than another year or two.  And I suspect they'll agree with me.  But for now, it's a great combination.  Keith and Evelyn will carry on a few minutes of conversation after the lights go out, but nothing like the two hour nightly song and dance routine that transpired when all three of them were together.  No manner of cajoling or coercion would stop that party, which lead to some rather tired mornings.  As I mentioned above, Evelyn doesn't nap in her bedroom, and Keith loves to have time in his room for napping; but more importantly, he loves to have me set it up just the way he likes it: blind partially open, music on low and the fan running.

Keith and Evelyn's room*

I have learned that with most adult-engineered situations, your kids have to buy in to your schemes to some extent in order for them to be successful.  The older they get, the more opinions they have - and being three is all about asserting them.  The decisions are mine and Edward's to make, but consultation and compromise is an ever increasing part of the equation.  They have to nap and they have to sleep - it isn't open for debate.  But how and where they sleep is becoming more of a matter of preference.  At the moment, the Colin/Malcolm combination might need some tweaking on the nap front, but otherwise, we're going with the status quo.  I think those two will grow into it.  I can certainly hope they will!

*PS:  Yep, everyone is still in cribs.  They still like them for the personal space they provide, which is a rare thing in our house, and we love them for the containment!  Unless they start climbing out, or objecting loudly, I'm planning to keep them in their cribs until they come back from New Brunswick this summer.