No pictures with this post - it was either I write a few words and get this on the blog, or wait an untold (and, likely, protracted) period of time to take pictures, upload them and write a few words.
The other day, Edward and I went to a lovely get-together at a friend's house with our entire brood. It was the first time we'd attempted such an outing with all four- in and out of the car, a sling for Malcolm, holding little hands while crossing busy streets, meeting new kids and adults - getting there and back in time for lunch was an accomplishment of logistical beauty. Anyways, while we were at the party, I realized that while we attracted a crowd with three, we've upped the ante with number four. Everyone was very polite about it, but when Edward was in the kitchen with Evelyn, someone asked him if he was "the guy with all the kids". And when we were leaving, I overheard a lady telling her little boy as they watched us from the edge of the driveway that "aaaalllll those children" were going to get into that van and drive home to have lunch. I had an immediate mental image of a clown car. And the sobering thought that I do, in fact, live in a circus.
So, not surprisingly, we get a lot of questions about how we're managing this latest major life adjustment. And, frankly, we're still at the figuring-it-out stage, and likely will be for the next two (or twenty) years. It's like it was when we had The Ducklings at home as newborns. How do you do it? You just do. There isn't much choice. Majority dictates that our priority is to maintain Colin, Keith and Evelyn's schedule. This means we have to feed them breakfast, lunch and dinner at reasonable hours, get them outside to play during the day and get them to bed before anyone collapses from exhaustion. Malcolm's feed schedule is still very random, so for example, while I usually have a chance to make dinner, I won't have the chance to eat it; or vice versa. Edward is taking 7 months off, so he's here to step into the breech as required, which is a life (and sanity) saver. There is no way we could do this without him and my mother, who is here every weekday. The other day, Edward noted with some amazement that the three of us adults were working flat out all day, and that we were still barely hanging on. To say we appreciate all the help we receive is an understatement. I shudder to think what our lives would be like without it.
Malcolm isn't very complicated at the moment - he's still mostly eating or sleeping. However, The Ducklings are nearing that age when naps - even though they are desperately needed - are not regular occurrences anymore. Irrespective of Malcolm's arrival, this development is a hard adjustment for us all. We're still working out the logistics of what to do with them when one or more of them strike their naps. If we leave them in their shared room, they tend to party large, which isn't ideal. It's just not reasonable to ask three almost-three-year-olds to play quietly in their cribs. Separating them is the answer at the moment, but we quickly run out of safe places for them to play. So, one or more adults are shoehorned into supervising them, which, when you have two precious hours a day to accomplish a million chores and shovel food down your throat, isn't the most popular option for said adults. And, of course, when naps don't happen, bedtime is a nightmare. We've tried to stream-line the procedure by introducing showers instead of baths, eating dinner earlier, and cutting out their bedtime snack. It's working quite well from a logistical perspective, but when you factor feeding Malcolm into the equation, it means that Edward is usually on his own for the entire routine. Trying to shepherd three hysterical, contrary, sobbing, howling and exhausted toddlers though the process night after night by yourself is a feat of pretty epic proportions.
Once we have dealt with The Ducklings all day, we deal with Malcolm all night. There is no doubt it's grueling, but somehow, Edward and I have managed to keep our sense of humour and our focus. Because if you're not laughing, you're crying. And I've done some of that, too. It's hard, but we know how fleeting this is. Eventually, we'll work out the non-napping issues. Eventually, Malcolm will feed less often and more regularly. I know that we have these challenging situations because they are all small, and there are so many great things that come with them being small. Almost-three-year-olds, even ones who are so exhausted they fall asleep at dinner, are hilarious. And babies, even ones who feed for 5 hours at a time and who shun sleep, still make the cutest mewling noises and facial expressions. The caveat to both is: when they aren't screaming.
So yes, life for four kids under three is just as loud and busy and crazy as you'd imagine. But in the grand scheme of things, life is still good. That being said, am I ever happy that I can have a sip or two of wine again!
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