Getting To Know Malcolm

Firstly, a huge thank you for all the congratulatory messages we received over the past week.  We feel so lucky to have such a wide network of supportive friends and family, and it is comforting to know that you're out there, rooting for us as we get our bearings as newly-minted family of six.  As you can imagine, there's a lot of adapting going on over here!

Being that Malcolm is officially one week old today, I thought I'd add a few details about his birth, which went very smoothly.  As I was the first c-section of the day, they were actually ready for us an hour and a half before the scheduled start.  I was very excited to meet Baby Z, so it suited me fine.  Edward was at home, having breakfast with The Ducklings to keep the day progressing as normally as possible, so he had to rush to get to the hospital on time before they could start the procedure.

Once we got to the operating room, they tried to put in my spinal block.  However, like last time, they had a hard time finding the right spot.  After a few attempts (yikes!!), they decided to give me an epidural.  Apparently, I have scoliosis in my back, so it seemed to be a better option.  However, it took forever to work and everything was delayed for almost an hour until I was numb.  At one point, protocol requires all the professionals in the room to introduce themselves.  When they got to the anesthetist, he stated his name, and when asked if he had any concerns, he said "Yeah, I hope this epidural works".   Not exactly the most comforting words, but everything was fine; and once I was ready to go, Malcolm made his grand entrance.

I'll never forget how it felt to leave the recovery room with Malcolm in my arms.  It was so starkly different than the last time I left that room after waiting for what felt like an eternity to catch a glimpse of our children as they were whisked by on their way to the NICU.  Malcolm and I snuggled under a heated blanket while Edward made a few phone calls.  Malcolm started to nurse a little, and we dozed off and on.  It was very peaceful.

Eventually, we got wheeled into my room, which, as Edward mentioned, had a panoramic view of the Experimental Farm.  As Edward was needed at home, I spent much of the next three days alone with Malcolm.  What a powerful bonding experience.  I could sing to him, feed him, nuzzle him, watch him snooze, cuddle him, rock him and gaze at him whenever I wanted.  No alarms, no wires and monitors to stress over, no nurses to ask for permission, no clock to watch.  No worrying about wet lungs, dry diapers, low feeds, high temperatures.  Eventually, I had to let go of the way The Ducklings came into this world, and accept it for what it was: a miracle of modern technology that allowed our children to thrive.  Time has allowed me to look at them for what they are today, not at what they were then.  However, being able to celebrate every aspect of Malcolm's arrival was deeply moving and meaningful for me.

As I mentioned, Malcolm started nursing before he was even an hour old.  This was but a hint of what was to come.  We nursed so constantly in those first few days, that my milk came in late Saturday night, which is unusually fast after having a c-section.  Malcolm lost just shy of 6% of his birth weight, but by Sunday, he was starting to gain again.  Since being home, he's been nursing with a vengeance.  He is a very hungry hippo.  Yesterday, we had two marathon nursing sessions yesterday -  in addition to shorter ones - but I fed him from 10am to noon, and then from 2pm to 5pm.  And he's actively nursing for much of that time.  It's kind of insane.  Yesterday, my postpartum doula (who helped us immeasurably with The Ducklings) and who is also a lactation counselor, came by to assess the situation.   We weighed him at the beginning of the evening feed and again ten minutes later and determined that he took 2 ounces in that time.  He's definitely surpassed him birth weight of 7 lb 2 oz.  In fact, according to my doula's calculations, he's gained more in two days than most babies gain in a week.  Luckily, my body is able to keep up with him.  Although these marathon sessions are tiring for us both, I know it will pass.  In fact, today he's eaten on a more regular schedule and is sleeping a lot more.  Every day is different.

In any case, we're continuing to get to know our little guy, and it is a wonderful experience.  We can hardly wait to share our Muppet with the world!

Visiting the hospital

We took the kids to the hospital this afternoon to see their mother and meet their new brother.  Sandra may not be interested in coming home.  She has a private, corner room, which overlooks the Experimental Farm from the fourth floor of the hospital.  The boys were more interested with the traffic below than with the baby.  Malcolm has done a bit of feeding and slept for a few hours in the afternoon.  The experience this time is a lot different than with the triplets.

Arrival of Baby Z

We are pleased to announce the arrival of Baby Z.  Malcolm Arthur Josef was born today, June 14, at 10 AM.  He weighed 7 pounds and 2 ounces.  Here are a few pictures, with more sure to follow:

Touch A Truck Event

As I mentioned in a previous post, on Sunday morning, Opa, Nana and Edward took The Ducklings to the Touch a Truck event.

It was a bit of a zoo, and it's hard to tell if the kids enjoyed all elements of it - certainly, the crowds were a little off-putting for them, and the heat made the line-ups a challenge - but Edward thought it was enough of a hit to go again next year.  Colin and Keith were enthralled by the various vehicles they could climb into - an ambulance, motorcycles, garbage trucks (a perennial Keith favourite), etc.  There was a large tortoise ambling around, and I've heard a great deal about Colin "high-fiving" some sort of costumed creature (a gorilla? Chewbacca? Barney?).  Keith refused, but as he told Nana and me this afternoon, "I didn't high-five the gorilla.  But that's okay.  It happens".  And Evelyn... well.... it wasn't really her thing.

Edward did get her to smile for the camera.  In a way:

Nana had Keith for the morning:

Evelyn looking a little more jovial, although a little concerned about sharing the space:

Oh, and to add:  all three of them came home dry :)

A Little Glimpse Into Their World

I'm always so intrigued by The Ducklings' imaginations.  They do have individual make-believe worlds:  Colin, who diapers his trucks and puts them to bed, Evelyn and her dollies, and Keith and his books.  However, they also have a collective imaginary world.  I guess that's no surprise, given that they are with each other pretty much every waking minute of their day.  But the neat part is watching them collaborate to come up with the parameters, characters and stories that populate this collective world.  I love querying them about these elements - their creativity is boundless, and you can see them trying to fit all the pieces together based on their perceptions of the Big Person world.

One of the more persistent story-lines going at the moment revolves around The Volkswagon.  From what I can gather, this is a reference to an actual car.  Kikkamippa lives there, as does Baby Jack.  I'm not entirely sure what - or who - Kikkamippa is, but s/he/it plays an integral role, and is seen by everyone as a friend.  In this world, Keith is known as "The Baby".  He is very tolerant of Evelyn (aka "The Mommy")'s rather pointed directives, and goes around dutifully hold her hand, having his imaginary diaper changed, and snuggling under blankets while pretending to snore loudly.  Colin is known as "Piana".  He doesn't have the same interactive role as Keith, but he still likes to participate on his own terms.  Together, they fly different coloured helicopters and go to the grocery store.  There is also a lot of pretend applesauce involved, and numerous phone conversations with such a varied cast of characters as Blue Mercedes, Simon (my sister's dog), Jonathan (my parents' neighbour) and the occasional insect.  They have nonsensical songs that always send siblings into hysterics, and Keith will turn to one or the other at the table, shouting "Fuzzabazooee?", to which they either respond "yes" or "no", often in an exasperated tone.

There is a ton of laughter - and no small amount of squabbling, either - and it's such a strange feeling to be nothing more than a clueless spectator in this enormous part of their lives.  I believe that they've stretched their individual and collective imaginations precisely because they have a lot of unstructured play.  I try very hard not to interfere when they're playing - I am more than happy to observe.  With our on-going daily routine, preschool starting in the fall, and kindergarten the year after, they have plenty of adults telling them what to do; which makes this "golden age" even more sacred.  I love it!

A Few Thoughts On Potty Training Triplets

I promised that I'd write about our adventures in potty training The Ducklings when we had actual progress to report.  I'd like to think that we do - and, more importantly, I'm running out of time to put thought to blog - but it is still an on-going process.  This morning I have my last child-free hours before we become a family of 6, and as I'm nursing a cold (having a cold at almost 39w pregnant is just as miserable as it sounds), it seemed like the perfect opportunity to share what I've learned.


When we last left our intrepid adventurers, victory didn't seem too far away.  We started full day potty training on March 30, and here we are well into June with a lot of experience under our belts, but still with no complete victory at hand.  I should add that every child is different, and if we were just training one child, I truly believe we would have moved on weeks if not months ago.  However, the process of training three certainly can add to the time-line.  This isn't always the case.  One of my twin mom friends trained her girls at 2 years of age in a week or two, and I know another twin mom who had to wait until her boys were over 3 years old, and after multiple failed attempts, before they got the hang of it completely.  So just like everything else parenting-related, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to potty training.

Our approach was a little different.  In a sense, we forced the issue.  A wise twin mom once told me that if potty training is too hard, try again later.  This is very true.  My number one piece of advice to those thinking of potty training "under duress" is:  don't.  I knew going in that not all of my children were completely ready, but I took the plunge anyway.  Why?  

Well, for one, they kept undressing themselves and having accidents.  No matter what I tried, I couldn't stop them from doing that.  I duct-taped diapers on backwards, and they would help each other escape.  I figured that if I couldn't stop them, I could at least get them to go on the potty.  As well, my pregnancy definitely pushed the issue.   It wasn't so much that I didn't want 4 kids in diapers, but that I wasn't sure when we'd have the time or energy to potty train 3 toddlers while dealing with a newborn.  It would probably be at least another 4-5 months post birth before we would be able to manage that, and The Ducklings are starting preschool in the fall... I really felt under the gun to start.  In retrospect, even though it wasn't a good idea to start the process, I'm glad that I gave myself lots of time to move through it.  If you do potty train "under duress", do yourself one favour and give yourself loads of time - like, months.

I started off casually training them in the morning.  It went deceptively well.  I didn't give them any rewards, just the opportunity.  I did learn that I couldn't keep the potty in the playroom with us, because if there was anything in there, you can bet they were fishing in it.  And bugging whomever was on the potty, and disassembling it, etc.  So, I'd have to lift them over the baby gate and into the bathroom every time someone had to go, which was always.  And of course, someone would choose the moment I had one on the potty to have an accident.  It was exhausting and physical, but I got a bit of a feel for the process, and the kids had some success to build on when it was time to start full-time training, so for us it was worth it.  In an ideal world, I would have decided at that point to train them one at a time, starting with the one who was ready to go.  The other two would have followed, eventually.  But as it stood, I took the plunge with all three.

On Easter weekend, when Edward's parents were in town and lending a hand, I stocked up on Smarties, took a deep breath and away we went.  I really thought the Smarties would clinch the deal, but for our trio, their introduction was a mistake.  Once we started with a reward, they wanted to go every single second of the day so they could have a Smartie.  Without a reward system, they were much more in tune with their actual need to go.  But once we started doling out candy, they just wanted the candy.  And when they said they had to go, our policy was to put them on the potty even if they had just gone a few minutes before.  Because they actually *might* have to go.  So, they'd beg to go, you'd put them on the potty, they'd dribble a bit, howl for Smarties, want to go again 5 minutes later but of course someone else was on the potty, and then they'd have an accident.  This went on for weeks.  We started not giving any reward for a dribble, but that only confused the issue for them.   

The other issue was that they all wanted to go at the exact same time.  They'd be playing nicely in their undies, and then I'd ask if someone had to go - they ALL had to go.  The power of suggestion was huge.  I couldn't accommodate everyone, so I'd pluck one over the gate and onto the potty while the other two had accidents.  As a result, I stopped asking them and started putting them on the potty at regular intervals - when they got dressed, before we went outside, after they came in, before lunch, etc.  It worked MUCH better.  Mind you, our 3-day-no-fail potty training process was stretching to 60 days, but it was progress.  The downside to this is that they didn't regularly ask to go to the potty.  They didn't have many accidents because they didn't have a chance to, but for a long time, I was still the one orchestrating the process.

I had read a lot about the evils of using pull-ups, but after missing a few story-times and park excursions, I realized we'd never leave the house if we didn't use them.  It did confuse them a little, but it also gave me a clue as to where we were in the process.  When we'd hit the potty a few hours later, one pull-up would be dry, one would be a little wet, and one would be saturated.  Also against conventional wisdom, we didn't nap and overnight train.  I think we would have had much quicker success had we done that, but I couldn't imagine changing 3 crib sheet numerous times over the day and night at 33w+ pregnant.  We'll deal with that later.

In the end, the goal posts necessarily had to shift.  The end goal was no longer 100% potty trained - that just wasn't feasible.  It became much more important to me to get them consistently using the potty.  Victory there, although not the complete victory I was expecting.  For some reason, I thought the learning process would be linear.  I guess for some kids it is, but not mine.  However, they've come a long way, and I do feel a major sense of accomplishment for them.   For example, today they are at the Touch a Truck event pull-up and diaper free, and I am positive they'll come home dry.  And that is a huge measure of our success.  

Rest assured, however, that I am not putting Baby Z anywhere near the potty until s/he can ask me to go in a full, grammatically correct sentence!

PS:  If you're a Mother of Multiples who is at the potty training stage and would like more of the nitty gritty on what I did and how my trio responded (or didn't), please comment with your contact information and I'll get in touch.  I glossed over a lot of the specifics in this post to keep the mortification level low, and to respect my kids' privacy.

PPS:  To see how we fared a year later, see this updated post

Baby Z's Nook

Finally!  Baby Z's itty bitty nook is finished.  Initially, I thought my project list was a little long, but totally doable in the fits and starts I'm afforded most days, thanks to my mother's help.  But as time wore on, the nook to-do list - seen below - got longer and more complicated.  There were quite a few set-backs along the way, the first being that although I had a lot of sewing to do, I didn't have a sewing machine.  Nor did I know how to use one.  I was also unsure how I'd hang the canopy for the bassinet.  And then there was finding the blanket binding, the trial and error over the mobile, painting the rug, recovering the lamp, and more sewing.  

These projects were interwoven with others, like a full re-organization of the workshop, which was a dismal mess; the ongoing saga of purging the basement; recovering the dining room chairs (more to come on this epic battle); cleaning out the pantry, the kitchen drawers, the dog's area (ick!), the closets in the den, the Duckings' clothing drawers... etc.  Just a little bit of nesting.

So here is the final product:  the nook.  As you can see, I had limited space to work with.  The sideways shelving unit is right beside the bedroom door, and you can see our dresser and the corner of our bed on the right.  Before I head to sleep (HA!), I can pull the bassinet and babe over to the bed, as it's on wheels.  My sister very graciously donated the bassinet, and I added the skirt to conceal the wheels and baskets underneath.  

As I mentioned, both the canopy and the skirt required a lot of sewing (hee - I actually typed "swearing" instead.... not far from the truth).  I ended up buying this sewing machine from IKEA, and I was extremely pleased its performance.  Of course, I had to read the manual very carefully - the last time I used a sewing machine was in Grade 7 Home Ec, when I made a rather awful and unwearable pair of shorts.  However, this machine is surprisingly easy to use, and once I got the hang of it, attaching the brown blanket binding went quite quickly.  The only issue was that the white fabric I chose, a jersey knit from Tonic Living, was a lot thinner than the binding, so it tended to bunch up.  I also taught myself to properly stitch the binding corners, which was no easy feat.  I hand-sewed the skirt to the brown pseudo-suede bassinet material.

                                                    

A few views of the shelving unit.  It's just your basic, ubiquitous IKEA Billy bookshelf.  I papered the backs of the shelves a few years ago.  I ended up going with a turquoise and orange butterfly motif for the nook, which was a serendipitous match to the paper.  The baskets hold baby clothes and accessories.

Close-ups of the lamp.  I really lucked in with this particular item, because it's an inexpensive lamp that is dim-able to three light levels just by touching anywhere on the base.  In fact, it came as a pair from Home Depot, although I can't find it on their website anymore.  Great bargain, great lamp!  I recovered the linen shade with a scrap of fabric from my stash.

The metallic bird was a Christmas gift from Edward's sister, Jane.  He was going to be the centerpiece of my original mobile design, but when that didn't pan out, I decided he still had to be included in some capacity!  I glued him to a branch from our backyard that I painted.  In the picture on the right, you can see the blue velvet ribbon that I also rescued from my stash.  I glued it to the back of the dresser to give it a little more pizzaz.

Another picture of the whole nook.  The white fluffy rug is made up of two IKEA faux sheepskin rugs  that I cut to a similar shape and hand-sewed together.

Ah, the mobile.  As I mentioned a few times, my original design was all wrong for the scale of the canopy.  It was a hard shape to fit, because it's conical and my mobile wasn't.  Plan B was purchasing die-cut butterflies, and glueing two together with clear beading wire sandwiched between the pieces to hang them.  Here is a view of how it's put together:  the bracket comes out from the wall to hold the canopy, and a wooden embroidery hoop and a bamboo skewer attach to the bracket and/or hoop to hold the beading wire and butterflies.

I salvaged the beads I bought for the original mobile, and glued two onto the butterflies to give them a little glimmer.

And finally, how the colour scheme I chose relates to the rest of our bedroom:

Some may wonder why I'd spend so much time and energy on an area the baby will probably only use for a few months.  Eventually, the baby will move into the Jeannie Suite either by itself or with a sibling.  However, despite the time and energy involved, I thoroughly enjoyed the process of creating this little space for the baby.  I always like learning a new skill or two, and this gave me a few opportunities to do just that.  But most importantly, when I'm super sleep deprived and feeling overwhelmed, I think it will give me a lift to see the space that I created with so much love for this new little life.